Open Letter to Aquolina: Quo Vadis?
Dearest Aquolina,
Seriously. You were doing so great when you came out with Pink Sugar. Everybody loved it. Too much. Sure, it was girly and super-sweet, like cotton candy on steroids, but that’s its appeal. You had your finger firmly on the pulse, like a direct connection into collective subconscious of mainstream, middle class American women. We wanted sugar. Lots of it.
Why couldn’t you have just rested on your laurels? Like Paris Hilton, people talk shit about your cloying nature and gourmand sensibilities, but in private, we would pull out our bottles of Pink Sugar from the bottom of the sock drawer and spritz great clouds of barbe-a-papa.
First, it was the Chocolovers. Basically, it’s a watered down version of Comptoir Sud Pacifique’s Amour de Cacao. Which, by the way, basically MEANS Chocolovers. Same Scent + Same Name = ripoff.
And now…this Blue Sugar nonsense. I was intrigued at first. I sought it out. The bottle is attractive, but then I realized - who would buy this? It’s marketed for men (says so right on the bottle, anyway), and yet - what self-respecting XY would buy this for himself, with sugar in the name? Would a lovey-dovey partner buy it to match her Pink Sugar? I don’t get it. And the juice - let’s face it - is a knockoff of Thierry Mugler’s Angel for men (A*Men). It took me a while to figure that out, but once I did, I was really confused. With all the woods and spice notes, this could have been called Brown Sugar and released for women.
So please. Let’s consider this an intervention. You have two options: keep making silly, half-assed knockoffs of decent perfumes, or you can go back to what got you here in the first place: The Cotton Candy. Kind of like a tan, redhead/brunette Jessica Simpson, this new look just isn’t working, and really, it’s kind of frightening and sad. So hit up a bakery (I hear they have lots of those in Europe), a candy store, and get to work.
Tags: opinion, reviews
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